Setting the stage to restore Peter

Relistened to this incredible message from the Underground today after Core Sunday service & picnic. It gives me hope for the kind of confrontations we must have with each other for the sake of healthy community and authentic love for our Father in heaven. At the same time, it reminds me of the terrible pain and hurt that still remains with me after our own community's failure with this, beginning the very day this message was given. The cold house meeting with a room full of vague "elephants," the second meeting later that night at the Lake House where God's words were fulfilled, the mediation of Stacy at last Sunday's meeting. Of the three, I felt that the last had the most progress, but I am certain that communal problems are far from resolved. They have no hope of lasting resolution, the kind that Jesus offered that day to Peter, when all members are not equally laid bare or repentant. There must also be the warm embrace of the Father come after the pain and discipline. There should be both a calling out and an offer of forgiveness and grace. I know this is possible because our Savior did this, he knew his people would need a picture, a story, of real reconciliation to turn to. They would need Him to show them what it looks like to challenge a breaker of trust, but also love them well through the hard but necessary confrontation. I am still waiting for a grace to come that is not just between me and the Father but among a community that says they are after his heart. I know that Jesus is faithful and dwells with those who cry out to him in the lowly, broken places of their soul. Where we long for his presence and hunger for his love, he hastens to come with power and comfort. I am not overwhelmed by feelings of hurt, pain, depression, sadness, anger or bitterness (though I do feel these things at times) because I know who this God I worship is. I know that he is my Father who has revealed my faults to me in such a way that they will not crush me or shame me, but challenge and discipline me as a daughter. I know that members of my community and extended community are sinners just like me who do not always get or understand the ways of Jesus or put them into practice as he would have them do. But I know the love they have for him and the dedication of their lives to pursue him above all things. That is enough for me to continue. To begin to trust again and open myself up. My prayer is for the Spirit to really make himself known in fullness and power among us as a group of women submitted to the will of the Father. Before we try to force this concept of "community" upon each other, I know that it is Jesus who must be our Rock and enduring foundation. Peter in this tough passage made the mistake of already returning to old loud-mouth ways by asking Jesus, "Lord, what about him [John]?" when Christ told Peter to "Follow me!" Rather than looking outwardly at another's relationship with Jesus, we must turn inwardly to our own. Despite how others act, think, behave or speak, we are responsible for our own walk with him and must take ownership of our own failings if there will ever be hope for unity among a community of believers. With the help of our Lord, we can become the humble servants he has called us to be. We can live in fellowship with Him and with each other. The Enemy's plan to divide and destroy will not prevail because our God has overcome evil and made a way for us to live freely and peacefully with Him. I am not prone to hopefulness and optimism, but Jesus is teaching me to fight the cynicism and pessimism that usually dominates my mind and heart. We do have a real and lasting hope, a reason to see things differently and hold on with faith that things will get better. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Just when darkness seemed to have overtaken the world with its final word, two days later everything changed. Life, light and love triumphed and forever crushed the duplicitous and demonic silence. Christ rose and the heavens rejoiced. Glory shone and a new era began where sinners could in fact receive the gift of eternal life. There is hope and the possibility for change, and that is enough for me. Jesus is trustworthy and deserves my whole heart. He said he will never forsake us and that he will make us all new creations. I trust him at his word and look on with renewed hope as he faithfully does his work in each of us.