Depression & utter dissatisfaction with life.
Desire to just fall asleep and never wake.
When will this hell end?
Eight months and counting... sigh.
You say have Faith. Hope. Love.
I wish I could.
You say I am Beloved and Precious.
I wish I believed You.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
"So Pilate decided to grant their demand. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will." - Luke 23:24-25
Are we looking to have Jesus be surrendered to our will, or for our lives to be surrendered to His will?
Are we looking to have Jesus be surrendered to our will, or for our lives to be surrendered to His will?
Saturday, August 20, 2011
An 18th Century Milestone - Vaccination!
Toward the end of this century, Edward Jenner, an English country doctor, made a discovery that was to open the doors for the relief of untold suffering and death.
Smallpox had killed millions, and there was no indication that the number of cases was decreasing. Jenner overheard a dairymaid say that she could not catch smallpox because she had already had cowpox. Knowing that cowpox was a mild disease, he decided to experiment and vaccinated a small boy with pus from a cowpox lesion. Eight weeks later, the boy was inoculated with smallpox but did not get the disease. Jenner published his findings in 1798. Although Jenner was greeted with some skepticism at first, it was not long before the incidence of smallpox was greatly reduced in developed countries all over the world.
I was reading this excerpt last night in my book on disease and noticed a of couple things. This guy Jenner, who is credited with the discovery of the benefits of vaccination, was not singularly responsible for this scientific breakthrough. He had some help. A woman. Who knows what would have happened if he wasn't enlightened by this lady's insightful conversation. And this makes me wonder how many other great advances in science and medicine have been ascribed to only a handful of men rather than present a more complete story. (I also think it's interesting that we get this snippet of extra information from a textbook whose author is a woman. I would place a hefty bet that a male author would not pick up on such a detail.)
I am also slightly amused by the fact that Jenner decided to take this knowledge he gained from the dairymaid and test it out on a young boy. That's not dangerous or ethically questionable... I'm sure many people would just fall back on the usual logic of "well, at least it greatly reduced the risk of smallpox," as if results were all that mattered and not process.
Science is an interesting thing. And the way it is documented and conducted even more so.
Smallpox had killed millions, and there was no indication that the number of cases was decreasing. Jenner overheard a dairymaid say that she could not catch smallpox because she had already had cowpox. Knowing that cowpox was a mild disease, he decided to experiment and vaccinated a small boy with pus from a cowpox lesion. Eight weeks later, the boy was inoculated with smallpox but did not get the disease. Jenner published his findings in 1798. Although Jenner was greeted with some skepticism at first, it was not long before the incidence of smallpox was greatly reduced in developed countries all over the world.
I was reading this excerpt last night in my book on disease and noticed a of couple things. This guy Jenner, who is credited with the discovery of the benefits of vaccination, was not singularly responsible for this scientific breakthrough. He had some help. A woman. Who knows what would have happened if he wasn't enlightened by this lady's insightful conversation. And this makes me wonder how many other great advances in science and medicine have been ascribed to only a handful of men rather than present a more complete story. (I also think it's interesting that we get this snippet of extra information from a textbook whose author is a woman. I would place a hefty bet that a male author would not pick up on such a detail.)
I am also slightly amused by the fact that Jenner decided to take this knowledge he gained from the dairymaid and test it out on a young boy. That's not dangerous or ethically questionable... I'm sure many people would just fall back on the usual logic of "well, at least it greatly reduced the risk of smallpox," as if results were all that mattered and not process.
Science is an interesting thing. And the way it is documented and conducted even more so.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
A verse that stuck out to me during my time in the prayer room.
A verse that stuck out to me during my time in the prayer room.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
A Deeper Look at Prayer
me
Mark 1:21-45
As we examine prayer, there are three important things to consider.
Jesus was completely dependent upon the Father and says so in John 5:19
The things Brian described about being in a state of prayerlessness - feeling distant and far from God, alienated, isolated, alone, unloved - have been true for me. I have existentially felt all of them and been inclined to cope with it by having the attitude of self-sufficiency. "If God is not there for me, then I guess I will just have to be there for myself, taking care of my own life." It's not that I didn't want to feel close to him or be in his presence. It's more like I felt alone, and instead of coming to him dependent and helpless, I accepted loneliness and relied on my own efforts to alleviate it. I tend to do that - withdraw and recluse - rather than seek God with a poverty of spirit. I need to learn to be okay with those dual realities of deep and profound prayer: 1) that I am helpless and inadequate without my Father. I desperately need Him and must acknowledge my utter dependence on Him for everything in my life. I must let go on my independence. 2) God has not forsaken me. Instead, he has loved me and offered his eternal friendship to me. Incredible.
I really liked the connection made between weakness and grace. When we admit our true condition - one of weakness and dependency - God's grace is right there accessible and available to us. It is stored for us and waiting in the room called Prayer. And when we refuse to pray, when we refuse to accept our weakness and great need, we then reject God and the grace he gives. When we prefer our facade of strength to the truth of his unparalleled grace and love, we remain trapped in the cycle of prayerlessness and absence of intimacy with our Maker. The truth is I don't know how to always forsake my strong will and self-determination. I'm tempted to even want to make myself stop being so self-reliant, perhaps through some kind of discipline or act of will, but that itself would expose my folly. I can not, however much I want to or try to, change myself. Not by my own actions or will. I need GRACE. I need God's mysterious grace that somehow transforms me and makes me new. I think this reality of grace will always perplex me because I don't fully get it. I want it, I know I need it, but for some reason I still find myself resisting it. It's like I see Jesus, I love him, I want to be close to him, share my meals and life with him, and yet I stand there in front of him immobilized and afraid to take a step toward him. And I just kind of envision my need to simply kneel down in that moment and let myself be broken and torn, let the pain and harsh realities of my life just hit me and humble me. And then it's like that transaction that is going on in my heart leaves me bare and naked before my Lord. And instead of me needing to get up the nerve to take that step toward Jesus, he, watching this beautiful personal embrace of weakness, walks toward me with a cloak of his grace and lays it over me.. Covering my sin, my brokenness, my fears, my disobedience, my doubt, my faithlessness, my double-mindedness, my... everything.
God desires that we pray like children - honestly, openly and without guile. I thought it was quite interesting when Brian brought up the story of Nathanael and his classic line in John 1:46
When you approach God, do so with a heart free from guile. Free from deceit. Free from falsehood. The image of a child really is the most appropriate when we come to examine prayer. For what is a child other than a little bundle of uninhibited honesty? They say what's on their mind and how they feel. And we don't learn this kind of prayer by listening to the eloquent, half-sermonizing prayers of those who do so out loud. No, there is no formula or correct method. All one has to do is go into a secret room, where it is just God and them, and pray. Talk to him like who he is... your Father. Abba, daddy. I needed to be reminded of that. I shouldn't be intimidated by prayer or feel inadequate in my attempts to "know exactly what to pray." I sometimes have the wrong image of God, maybe even the kind that Brian brought up, of a God who sits back and waits to see if we will come to him. And if we manage to, then he will contemplate whether to show his love, grace, and self to us... No, he is not like that at all. He is a good dad, one that I never knew until being brought back into right relationship through Jesus Christ.
Intimacy is something that we make time and space for. Man, is that true! And do I need to take that seriously! I'm trying, though :)
I hadn't thought too much about the first recorded words of Jesus before in Luke 2:49
The last aspect of prayer was whether we actually believe that God will hear us. Does he listen and respond? In John 15, Jesus reminds us to "ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." If we see God as our Father in heaven, then we should not be timid or afraid to ask him for things that are on our hearts. We should be thankful that we serve a God who has made himself available to us and has extended to us the great gift of "Whatever it is, all you have to do is ask." I grew up being mostly fearful of asking my father for things, and I think that has affected the way I interact with God during prayer. It's important for me to be reminded of the truths of who he really is and what he is like, because it is so easy for me to forget and then feel distant or somehow undeserving of God's love, affection, and response during prayer. And I suppose that is why I cling so much to the Bible; it is God's words always reminding me of who He is that seem to bring me back to life when I feel weary and discouraged. Thank you so much for that, Lord.
And speaking of the Word, do we also believe what it has to say when we come to God in prayer? For example in Revelation 21:5 when it says,
Not only do we believe, but do we care? When we pray, is it from a deep longing and desire to see the world renewed and restored? Are our emotions a part of our prayers, do we weep for our neighbors, family and friends who are still in the bondage of sin and death? It is not all emotion or all intellect; both play a part when we come to God. He wants to address our minds as well as our hearts.
We cannot settle to just work but not pray. To demonstrate effort but not effect. To show outward love but not power. Or to see ministry done but not transformation. We need to be a different community of God's called ones. Grace, faith and risk-taking should mark our lives. When we take risks, we become more desperate. And when we become desperate, we pray. In that place of prayer we find grace, love, acceptance and friendship with God. There he reminds us that he is pleased with our efforts and boldness to follow him in radical ways. There we are also challenged and encouraged to take greater risks, knowing that Jesus is always with us as we step out in his name.
Perhaps we do not pray because we do not live risky lives. I feel as though that is true for me. It's likely we are living out the life God has called us to when we experience nervous feelings about what it is we must do weekly. When was the last time these "butterflies in the stomach" happened to you? I want to be more of a risk taker for Jesus and come to know and believe there really is nothing to fear. There is nothing that can compare to or overshadow His eternal love and friendship. Nothing. I thank you so much for this, Lord.
Mark 1:21-45
As we examine prayer, there are three important things to consider.
- having a total dependence on God; there is no room for the American idols of independence and self-sufficiency.
- pray not like the Pharisees, but like a child; be honest and say how you feel.
- believe that God actually does hear you; your Father listens and he is pleased to meet with you.
Jesus was completely dependent upon the Father and says so in John 5:19
"I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does."He embraces this state of helplessness and inadequacy apart from the Father because through his dependence upon Him, Jesus enjoys God's love, acceptance, intimacy and friendship. At first, it may seem unnecessary for Jesus to have to pray, but once we understand this strong dependence he has on his Father, we can begin to see the beauty of Jesus' prayer life and the implications it should have on our own.
The things Brian described about being in a state of prayerlessness - feeling distant and far from God, alienated, isolated, alone, unloved - have been true for me. I have existentially felt all of them and been inclined to cope with it by having the attitude of self-sufficiency. "If God is not there for me, then I guess I will just have to be there for myself, taking care of my own life." It's not that I didn't want to feel close to him or be in his presence. It's more like I felt alone, and instead of coming to him dependent and helpless, I accepted loneliness and relied on my own efforts to alleviate it. I tend to do that - withdraw and recluse - rather than seek God with a poverty of spirit. I need to learn to be okay with those dual realities of deep and profound prayer: 1) that I am helpless and inadequate without my Father. I desperately need Him and must acknowledge my utter dependence on Him for everything in my life. I must let go on my independence. 2) God has not forsaken me. Instead, he has loved me and offered his eternal friendship to me. Incredible.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." - John 15:5Father, help me to embrace this sense of inadequacy apart from you, just like your Son. Drive out the fear that holds me and restrains me from giving you more control and authority in my life. Continue to break me of this independence I have been taught to espouse all my life. Humble me and teach me to walk with a poverty of spirit that opens myself up to you...daily. Amen.
I really liked the connection made between weakness and grace. When we admit our true condition - one of weakness and dependency - God's grace is right there accessible and available to us. It is stored for us and waiting in the room called Prayer. And when we refuse to pray, when we refuse to accept our weakness and great need, we then reject God and the grace he gives. When we prefer our facade of strength to the truth of his unparalleled grace and love, we remain trapped in the cycle of prayerlessness and absence of intimacy with our Maker. The truth is I don't know how to always forsake my strong will and self-determination. I'm tempted to even want to make myself stop being so self-reliant, perhaps through some kind of discipline or act of will, but that itself would expose my folly. I can not, however much I want to or try to, change myself. Not by my own actions or will. I need GRACE. I need God's mysterious grace that somehow transforms me and makes me new. I think this reality of grace will always perplex me because I don't fully get it. I want it, I know I need it, but for some reason I still find myself resisting it. It's like I see Jesus, I love him, I want to be close to him, share my meals and life with him, and yet I stand there in front of him immobilized and afraid to take a step toward him. And I just kind of envision my need to simply kneel down in that moment and let myself be broken and torn, let the pain and harsh realities of my life just hit me and humble me. And then it's like that transaction that is going on in my heart leaves me bare and naked before my Lord. And instead of me needing to get up the nerve to take that step toward Jesus, he, watching this beautiful personal embrace of weakness, walks toward me with a cloak of his grace and lays it over me.. Covering my sin, my brokenness, my fears, my disobedience, my doubt, my faithlessness, my double-mindedness, my... everything.
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' - Luke 18:13Jesus, thank you that your grace is on the bottom shelf, and that it is for the lowly.
God desires that we pray like children - honestly, openly and without guile. I thought it was quite interesting when Brian brought up the story of Nathanael and his classic line in John 1:46
“Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?”Nathanael has no filter. He just says exactly what he thinks. No matter that he just insulted... GOD. And not only that, but his mother, family and whole people group as well. But before we can go off and judge him for it, we have to consider Jesus' own response in John 1:47
"Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit."I find that Jesus rarely, if ever, responds in the way I expect him to. Here he says something very intriguing. I almost want to be like, "Jesus, did you hear what the guy said?! C'mon, where's your rebuke?" But he says everything purposefully. And we need to want to hear his purpose here. I would agree with Brian's interpretation that Jesus loves Nathanael and his unashamed lack of pretense. Though this isn't the context of prayer, it still can speak to us about not worrying whether we are "getting it right" all the time with God.
When you approach God, do so with a heart free from guile. Free from deceit. Free from falsehood. The image of a child really is the most appropriate when we come to examine prayer. For what is a child other than a little bundle of uninhibited honesty? They say what's on their mind and how they feel. And we don't learn this kind of prayer by listening to the eloquent, half-sermonizing prayers of those who do so out loud. No, there is no formula or correct method. All one has to do is go into a secret room, where it is just God and them, and pray. Talk to him like who he is... your Father. Abba, daddy. I needed to be reminded of that. I shouldn't be intimidated by prayer or feel inadequate in my attempts to "know exactly what to pray." I sometimes have the wrong image of God, maybe even the kind that Brian brought up, of a God who sits back and waits to see if we will come to him. And if we manage to, then he will contemplate whether to show his love, grace, and self to us... No, he is not like that at all. He is a good dad, one that I never knew until being brought back into right relationship through Jesus Christ.
Intimacy is something that we make time and space for. Man, is that true! And do I need to take that seriously! I'm trying, though :)
I hadn't thought too much about the first recorded words of Jesus before in Luke 2:49
"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?"Just like with his response to Nathanael, I am not expecting these words from Jesus. But again, there is something deeper being said here. There is always this desire for him to, as Tozer would say, "fly back to be in the room with God." When you think about it, Jesus is always escaping from the crowds and people to be alone with his Father. And in this passage from Mark, he does it again. The question is how often am I doing it, and is it a strong yearning to be in the presense of the Father that motivates me to retreat away like Jesus?
The last aspect of prayer was whether we actually believe that God will hear us. Does he listen and respond? In John 15, Jesus reminds us to "ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." If we see God as our Father in heaven, then we should not be timid or afraid to ask him for things that are on our hearts. We should be thankful that we serve a God who has made himself available to us and has extended to us the great gift of "Whatever it is, all you have to do is ask." I grew up being mostly fearful of asking my father for things, and I think that has affected the way I interact with God during prayer. It's important for me to be reminded of the truths of who he really is and what he is like, because it is so easy for me to forget and then feel distant or somehow undeserving of God's love, affection, and response during prayer. And I suppose that is why I cling so much to the Bible; it is God's words always reminding me of who He is that seem to bring me back to life when I feel weary and discouraged. Thank you so much for that, Lord.
And speaking of the Word, do we also believe what it has to say when we come to God in prayer? For example in Revelation 21:5 when it says,
He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."Do we believe that God is actually making everything new? Broken relationships. Acts of injustice. Personal hearts. When we pray, do we do so with faith and expectation, knowing that our God intervenes and cares about our situation? Do you know that the world is different because you have prayed for it? The world is affected by our prayers. I need to be reminded of these things. There is some mysterious way in which it is changed because we intercede and appeal to our Father. I need to believe this more and be encouraged to pray boldly and from the heart. James comments that, "You don't have, because you don't ask." And why don't we ask? Perhaps it is from lack of faith, or doubt. God won't hear me. God doesn't care about this. What's the point? A sense of apathy and indifference replaces earnest child-like faith and hopefulness. I desire a renewal of this spiritual eagerness and expectation to hear from my dad in heaven. I know he is listening.
Not only do we believe, but do we care? When we pray, is it from a deep longing and desire to see the world renewed and restored? Are our emotions a part of our prayers, do we weep for our neighbors, family and friends who are still in the bondage of sin and death? It is not all emotion or all intellect; both play a part when we come to God. He wants to address our minds as well as our hearts.
We cannot settle to just work but not pray. To demonstrate effort but not effect. To show outward love but not power. Or to see ministry done but not transformation. We need to be a different community of God's called ones. Grace, faith and risk-taking should mark our lives. When we take risks, we become more desperate. And when we become desperate, we pray. In that place of prayer we find grace, love, acceptance and friendship with God. There he reminds us that he is pleased with our efforts and boldness to follow him in radical ways. There we are also challenged and encouraged to take greater risks, knowing that Jesus is always with us as we step out in his name.
Perhaps we do not pray because we do not live risky lives. I feel as though that is true for me. It's likely we are living out the life God has called us to when we experience nervous feelings about what it is we must do weekly. When was the last time these "butterflies in the stomach" happened to you? I want to be more of a risk taker for Jesus and come to know and believe there really is nothing to fear. There is nothing that can compare to or overshadow His eternal love and friendship. Nothing. I thank you so much for this, Lord.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Hold On
Everybody’s got something they are trying to overcome
Everybody’s got a secret they have swept underneath the rug
Everybody has spoken a lie behind a brother
Looking for a splinter in the eye of another
You don’t ever have to feel alone
Together we are on this road.
We got the light that never fades
We’re gonna make it through today
Hold on, hold on.
We got the heart that brings the hope
We got the key to free your soul
Hold on, hold on.
Everybody is looking for love and looking for a meaning Everybody is searching for reasons to keep believing And everybody is hanging on tryin’ to not let go
Just praying for the strength to carry this heavy load.
You don’t ever have to feel alone
Together we are on this road.
We got the light that never fades
We’re gonna make it through today
Hold on, hold on.
We got the heart that brings the hope
We got the key to free your soul
Hold on, hold on.
It’s taking us over tonight
We’re handing you over our lives.
It’s taking us over tonight
We’re handing you over our lives.
Yeah
We got the heart, we got the hope,
We’ve got the key, you’ve got the soul
We’ve got the love coming from above
Gotta give it away to everyone.
We got the heart that brings the hope
We got the key to free your soul
Hold on, hold on.
Okay, Jesus, I'll hold on...
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Lectio Divina
Lectio Divina is Latin for divine reading, spiritual reading, or "holy reading," and represents a traditional Catholic practice of prayer and scriptural reading intended to promote communion with God and to increase in the knowledge of God's Word. It is a way of praying with Scripture that calls one to study, ponder, listen and, finally, pray and even sing and rejoice from God's Word, within the soul. - Wikipedia
I was introduced to this way of encountering God and His Word during my Experiencing the Bible class that I took at the Underground this summer. Guy spoke about the Word as the heart of God, and showed us how this way of divine reading can really help us to listen and obey God's voice as revealed through Scripture. I thoroughly enjoyed it and have made it a goal to continue this spiritual discipline in my own devotional life.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
A Note I Liked on FB
The Note
by David Thomas on Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12:47am.
I don't believe that God intended for the modern woman to be as strong as she is today.
Contrary to the wording or how you may have interpreted the post, this doesn't mean that God intended for women to be weak.
What I did mean to explain is that women have been forced to assume roles and take on responsibilities that God never intended for them to fill and put on strength that they should have never had to muster.
The single mother has to juggle the roles of mother and father because dad couldn't bother.
The rape victim has to cope with trust and self esteem issues that without the help of God, may never go away.
The single Woman of God who's mind is not only on marriage but on her supposed "biological clock" now considers "settling" just because she feels there aren't enough REAL Men of God around; much less men who are willing to pastor her household.
The first time expectant mother who for lack of support from her baby daddy and/or own low self esteem issues sees abortion as the only option.(By the way, the enactment of state laws that require father notification or consent before an abortion takes place has been ruled as unconstitutional.)
The daughter who was raised to be "independent." And by independent I mean gets her education, career and house and proudly proclaims that "She doesn't need a man for anything!" Meanwhile, a good man who may or may not make as much money as her, who's also not intimidated but supportive of her success never gets the chance to get close because of her fears of being labeled as "weak." You see, while she was building the walls of her empire she was also building a wall around her heart; vowing not to get hurt or trampled on like momma was. She's not used to a man loving her for who she is. So she doesn't know how to appreciate it when it does happen. My sister in the Lord, Sis Claudelle Scott Bailey testified that "we(women) had to be strong for so long that we sometimes overstep our boundaries."
I can list more examples, but I guess you get the point.
Too many times women are making decisions, shouldering burdens and filling shoes that God originally intended for a Man to wear. I don't suggest at all that women shouldn't be cautious when opening up to a potential mate. Im also not implying that a woman is incomplete without one. However ladies, know that if you do wish to be happily married one day, that the best way to judge a mans character is by what measuring it with God says a husband is supposed to be. And be careful not to push them away!
REAL men seem to be endangered species, because society told us that showing vulnerability means showing weakness! That's why it's so difficult for a man to admit love much less properly show it.
The few of us that actually do go to church constantly struggle with the simple act of lifting our hands in worship, because we were raised to believe that real men don't surrender to anyone! It's pretty difficult to worship God in Spirit and in Truth when you're whole persona is based on lies.
Ephesians 5 vs 22-23:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
vs 25:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Breaking the generational curse that still affects our government, churches and our homes is mandatory! And it needs to start with FAMILY! Love is a verb. Man's responsibility is to love our wives to the point where if necessary we would give our lives for them. Let our daughters know that they are queens whether they get married or not. They can be successful and still be open for courtship. Inform our daughters that the only man that can claim he's "God's gift to women", died on a cross and proved it! And unless "homeboy" can submit himself to that, then you shouldn't submit yourself to him! We need to teach our daughters that humility and submission are not signs of weakness. They are characteristics of a Virtuous Woman. They are NOT synonymous with he says "jump" you say "how high?" Or better yet, he says "What kind of things do you like?" and she says "Whatever it is you like!" LOL.
Let our future kings know that's its okay to shed tears and express themselves. This will create a pathway to their heart that isn't blocked by foolish pride or societal constraints. This pathway makes it easier for their future wife to navigate and clearer for God to enter.
Real men do exist! And real women appreciate them!
Okay, I think im finished for now. There's a lot more to say but maybe another time. Feel free to respectfully add your 2 cents. God bless you all.
This note was written under the influence of the Holy Spirit, from 30 years experience of being a black man, through friendly and inspring conversations with some of you and with love.
by David Thomas on Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12:47am.
I don't believe that God intended for the modern woman to be as strong as she is today.
Contrary to the wording or how you may have interpreted the post, this doesn't mean that God intended for women to be weak.
What I did mean to explain is that women have been forced to assume roles and take on responsibilities that God never intended for them to fill and put on strength that they should have never had to muster.
The single mother has to juggle the roles of mother and father because dad couldn't bother.
The rape victim has to cope with trust and self esteem issues that without the help of God, may never go away.
The single Woman of God who's mind is not only on marriage but on her supposed "biological clock" now considers "settling" just because she feels there aren't enough REAL Men of God around; much less men who are willing to pastor her household.
The first time expectant mother who for lack of support from her baby daddy and/or own low self esteem issues sees abortion as the only option.(By the way, the enactment of state laws that require father notification or consent before an abortion takes place has been ruled as unconstitutional.)
The daughter who was raised to be "independent." And by independent I mean gets her education, career and house and proudly proclaims that "She doesn't need a man for anything!" Meanwhile, a good man who may or may not make as much money as her, who's also not intimidated but supportive of her success never gets the chance to get close because of her fears of being labeled as "weak." You see, while she was building the walls of her empire she was also building a wall around her heart; vowing not to get hurt or trampled on like momma was. She's not used to a man loving her for who she is. So she doesn't know how to appreciate it when it does happen. My sister in the Lord, Sis Claudelle Scott Bailey testified that "we(women) had to be strong for so long that we sometimes overstep our boundaries."
I can list more examples, but I guess you get the point.
Too many times women are making decisions, shouldering burdens and filling shoes that God originally intended for a Man to wear. I don't suggest at all that women shouldn't be cautious when opening up to a potential mate. Im also not implying that a woman is incomplete without one. However ladies, know that if you do wish to be happily married one day, that the best way to judge a mans character is by what measuring it with God says a husband is supposed to be. And be careful not to push them away!
REAL men seem to be endangered species, because society told us that showing vulnerability means showing weakness! That's why it's so difficult for a man to admit love much less properly show it.
The few of us that actually do go to church constantly struggle with the simple act of lifting our hands in worship, because we were raised to believe that real men don't surrender to anyone! It's pretty difficult to worship God in Spirit and in Truth when you're whole persona is based on lies.
Ephesians 5 vs 22-23:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
vs 25:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Breaking the generational curse that still affects our government, churches and our homes is mandatory! And it needs to start with FAMILY! Love is a verb. Man's responsibility is to love our wives to the point where if necessary we would give our lives for them. Let our daughters know that they are queens whether they get married or not. They can be successful and still be open for courtship. Inform our daughters that the only man that can claim he's "God's gift to women", died on a cross and proved it! And unless "homeboy" can submit himself to that, then you shouldn't submit yourself to him! We need to teach our daughters that humility and submission are not signs of weakness. They are characteristics of a Virtuous Woman. They are NOT synonymous with he says "jump" you say "how high?" Or better yet, he says "What kind of things do you like?" and she says "Whatever it is you like!" LOL.
Let our future kings know that's its okay to shed tears and express themselves. This will create a pathway to their heart that isn't blocked by foolish pride or societal constraints. This pathway makes it easier for their future wife to navigate and clearer for God to enter.
Real men do exist! And real women appreciate them!
Okay, I think im finished for now. There's a lot more to say but maybe another time. Feel free to respectfully add your 2 cents. God bless you all.
This note was written under the influence of the Holy Spirit, from 30 years experience of being a black man, through friendly and inspring conversations with some of you and with love.
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